LUV Letters

Almost one week ago, my phone got snatched while walking along Washington St. Some guy just passed by, riding a bike, and snatched it away from me. I tried to catch the guy, but thanks to those people around me, he got away quickly.

So, my phone just took on it's first year with me. My sim card, which has been the same sim card I've had since college, was also taken. And with that; I had to let go of a hundred contacts, pictures and music I've stored for the past 10 (?) years or so. Now, please tell me how do I let it go. And because I've had the same sim card since college, it was also the only means of communicating with my husband who might try to get in touch anytime... Good thing, though, I have memorized his number by heart. I can dial it from ny phone. But, how were you supposed to get my baby's pictures back? Her voice recording, which I listen to everyday? And all the friends I have kept in touch with, for the past 10 years...?

After losing my phone, I realized that I was not always lucky or safe. Nothing is impossible. :(

What's the best compliment you've received lately?

> My best friend referred me as a ''twiteering monster'' - I love it, because its feels good when people appreciate what you're doing. Haha. Like a simple tap on the back for a job well done. Or a hug from Fayth, which takes all the stress away. I feel ''human'' once again.

@jaimishik Thanks for calling me a ''twittering monster'', but can we make it ''twittering mean-ster instead? I know I'm mean, that's why. Hehe. =) - Ay vox na pala 'to, I thought I was still logged on to Twitter. Haha.

I just had the weirdest dream the other day. I dreamt that I was so angry at you for cheating on me. I felt so angry, that it actually came to a point where I wanted to finish my aikido lessons and move on to the next belt. Weird, because it brought me back in time. Remember that this is where we first met. And this is how it all started. Our story, I mean. But the theme, well, I guess it has been affected by my recent addiction - Boys Over Flowers. It's very much like Meteor Garden. I didn't like it at first. And I was under the impression that Meteor Garden would be my all-time favorite. But, as the days passed, I grew to like it and eventually became addicted to it. Haha. One of the F4 guys there, Jun Pyo, reminds me so much about you. Arrogant, frank and brutally careless - saying things like you don't really care. Pretending that Jan Di (his on-screen partner) is not really important, but the truth is, she is the most important thing to him. Recently, Jun Pyo moved to Macau and Jan Di was left in Korea. She waited for him to come back. And then one day, as a fictitious TV character delivered her lines, she realized she had to follow Jun Pyo to Macau. I remember, before finally saying yes to you and agreeing to be your girl friend, receiving an SMS that somehow spoke of ''true love coming in once...'' It was a quote, but it hit me which is why I said yes to you then. Sometimes, I wondered if you asked a common friend to send it to me so I would say yes. I haven't asked you that question, but that would be one of my questions to you when we see each other again.

Jan Di followed Jun Pyo to Macau. It costed her her life, her family and around 2000 dollars. It might cost me around P20, 000 to buy a ticket to Indonesia back and forth. That also means giving up my work and leaving Fayth. :( This is something I can't bear to give up. I can't give up my work, not unless I intend to work there while looking for you. And I can't leave Fayth. I told you I wanted a complete family. I would prefer working and staying together in one place. I know it's not going to be easy. But, compared to what we're going through right now, I would prefer working our ass out than that. And I also couldn't leave her without any one of us. I heard the priest said one time, that grandparents are not enough to replace the parents in a child's life. I'm scared I might have to forget that, when she starts going to school. I hope not.

Uwi ka na kase.

June 11, 2009 is definitely one memorable night for me. It was my first time ever to be in a concert. Kat invited me to watch the Pussycat Dolls concert that night. And it was also my first time to watch her working for MTV. I was at the backstage the whole time they were hosting. Wow! I met the other VJs; Andie and Sib and Kat's friends, of course, which helped me feel comfortable (taking pictures?) while Kat was on stage. The feeling was overwhelming and definitely unforgettable.

Here are some pictures I got:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What's the worst part about your job?

> Having been in this industry for almost five years now, I guess I have gotten used to working in the GY shift rather than the normal work time. Because we're dealing with American clients, this is a requirement.Being in the GY shift also brings in more money, you know. But, as we all say, time is priceless. A good night sleep is always the best thing there ever is, after a long day of work. I hate that I have to come to work when everyone's sleeping and you come home and sleep when everyone's alive and kicking...

 

I watched a couple at the bus station today. The guy can't simply get his hands off the girl. He would constantly put his hands around her... touch her hair and her face... He seemed very much in love with her... The girl is not responding that much, but she would also sometimes hold on to his arm... It was sickeningly sweet. It's funny that I get annoyed every time I would witness such display of affection, when 2 years ago, I was guilty of this too. I started thinking if someone else did get annoyed with us, too? Hehe... =)

Then, I asked myself how did we act in public? Were we sickeningly sweet, like this couple, or just discreet? I remember you putting your arms around me while walking, typical boyfriend-girlfriend thing. I would also sometimes cling on to your arms just so I can catch up with you. You don't really stroke my hair, or touch my face like the way he does. That IS sickeningly sweet, man! We kept those affections in private. =)

This sucks... I miss you... It's like every song I sing is dedicated to YOU... Just like this one...

I tried to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When I turn out all the light
Even the night
It only reminds me of you

 

Weddings are always nice and sweet. When I first heard Juday and Ryan getting married last Tuesday, I was happy and excited. I was equally surprised to find out they got married somewhere in Batangas, feeling closer more than anything else. I'm excited to see the video and the pictures. I heard this is a non-traditional wedding, which did not include the usual entourage. And I did like her wedding gown. :) I began to look forward to my own wedding again, I hope would happen someday...

 

And I was also surprised with what had happened to Ted Failon's wife. I'm sure this is a sensitive subject, but I've been there once - when I was younger, I have thought of that, too. I was too angry with my mom and felt life was so unfair, I tried it. But I was barely thirteen, then, how am I supposed to know which ones work and which ones would not. The mark is still visible on my left wrist, if you would just take a closer look. But, its not something I'm proud of. Had I pushed through with it, I wouldn't be where I am now. I'm just glad I survived! (Di sana walang ''you and me'', walang Fayth ngayon... )

 

Remember the dispute? Well, he did send me an email again:

I would'nt wonder if you "purposedly" pick this chat session.  But I simply don't care. 

Go ahead and manipulate this advantage (coz that's the only thing I think u have).  Be my guest, Mr. Elaine Ugly-lano! (Oh. Did I say "Mr"? My bad!  I just allegorized, because you look more like one)

This is like the 3rd time we were separated. The first 2 were voluntary. We broke up and got back together again.For the 3rd time, it was unplanned and totally unexpected.  :(  Looking back, I guess we were lucky to have gotten back together. I hope luck will also bring us back together this time. That and Fayth and Hope and Love... :)

***

They're all over the news. Seamen kidnapped by Somali pirates. Seafarers released. And no news from you or your captors. What's up with that? How can they forget about your family here? Knowing you have the skills, are you part of their group now? Did you get into any argument with your crewmates, leaving them to hate you and plotting to kill you? Did they throw you off the ship and you hurt your head, losing your memory in the process? Back with the pirates, a fortune teller said a girl would like to help you get out of there. Did she fell in love with you and asked you to marry her? Convinced you to sleep with her? I read this article yesterday; the reader's question was why she dreamt her husband had left her. I did dream of it once, too, but its not like you left on purpose. So, if its a question on being a wife, I can't completely answer that because you and I both know I haven't taken that role yet. And we've just been married days before you left. While I was pregnant, we had communication issues. I wasn't texting you as before. But it's not what you think. I used to think I was not ready for the responsibility, but she was coming in a few months so I can't say that anymore. I was overwhelmed. I was scared, because this was my first time. I was giving birth alone without a husband or a mom to look after me. All I had was my Dad who hardly knew anything about giving birth. I  was totally clueless on what to expect in that delivery room and how to go about it. It also occurred to me that you might have been overwhelmed yourself, which is why you chose to run away. :( Knowing you, and having great faith in you though, I knew you wouldn't do such a thing. I know that you were a fighter and you never backed out.I honestly don't know what else to think of. Haaayyy.

***

Fayth is driving me crazy. She looks like you. She's a crazy kid; sweet and naughty  - a combination of you and me. The only thing missing is, YOU. Darn! I wish I could give her a complete family.

From Week number, we've shifted to WE or Week Ending in . And before my birthday week ends, I'd like to give you a summary of what happened this week.

04.13.09 - received an dispute from one of my agents with words like ''who cares for disputes anyway'', ''please watch your consistency'' and ''Does that mean you even question your judgment? This is, by far, the worst dispute email I have received in my entire career as a QA Analyst. Considering him as one of my best agents for QA, I felt really bad hearing these words from him. It totally broke my heart and my spirit altogether, ruining the birthday spirit I've tried building for the past 2 weeks. :(

04.14.09 - I was partly excited, because one of our Vendor Managers were coming in to visit. And we heard she was joining us in the calibration. Uh-oh. I started to become nervous.

04.15.09 - I'm now counting the hours before my 27th birthday. Haha. Excited just like a little girl looking forward to presents and goodies. As if I would get those, hahaha...

04.16.09 - It's my birthday, pero the greeting started at around 3am when Ceejay from Chat greeted me. It was only then that the rest of the team started greeting me. And around 6am, the texts started coming in. :)

04.16.09 (Central time) - Calib day! Pressure! Disappointed, because we found out that she was not joining us at all.:(

I remembered Mommy E encouraging me to do better, because I'm supposedly next in line after Mommy Tynz became Team Supervisor Trainee. One more good thing, when youre in the BPO industry and youre working GY, your birthday is extended up until the next day. So, up until this time, people have been greeting me. Yey! Hehe.

All the excitement may have caught up, that I failed to notice my productivity slipping away. Not again! After being assigned as POC for MNL QA Svc Team, I became too laxed with work. It's all coming back to me. Not a good thing! My work's all piled up now. Two points down and I could be off the position. I ought to do better next week. I hope my one day leave could help me get it all back.

 

Miss You, LuV! I didnt get any present. Mama did cook pansit for me. And my Dad remembered my birthday. :) Fayth was so sweet the whole day, what else could I wish for? I have everything, all except YOU. I wish you were back home with me and Fayth.

Well, in a few hours, I say goodbye to 2-6 and say hello to 2-7. OMG!

A few weeks (or months) back, I was wishing to skip this day so I can get away with being 26 forever. :) But, you can't escape time. Much less, your birthday. When you're a little girl, you look forward to it because of the gifts and the party. Your parents plan a small party for you, cooking your favorite food and inviting all your friends and relatives. As you grow up, you look forward to going out with friends, clubbing or shopping. But, of course, when you reach your 20s, you're expected to treat your friends and officemates to a birthday blowout. Well, it does call for a celebration, eh! :)

But, when you turn 27, what should you really expect? A bouquet of flowers? A nice, expensive gift from your friends? jewelry from your partner? As a woman, yes; a bouquet of flowers or a new set of jewelry would be real nice. But, as your wife, I can only wish for one thing (or two, rather): seeing you again. But, if that's not possible, then I wish you're safe wherever you are and trying to find your way back home. Oh, I do hope to see you real soon! :)